How to live as a Single Person...

Well...it has been about a week since my last one. This truly is like homework, I kinda put it off to the last minute, but it will get done. To be fair I started out by looking for a bunch of sites on the single life and I saved them all in a folder. Each week I am pulling a new one up to see what it has to say about this vocation.
          The Research Website of the Week
So there it is. I have mixed feelings about this one, maybe it is just old but either the USCCB doesn't have anything on the single life or I have found yet another dead end. BUT, the site does have some good pointers on how to live one's life as a Single. And these would be good things to look at for someone discerning any vocation. I am going to copy and past the list, and then go through in RED and offer my thoughts.

Nine Ways to Live as a Single Person

1. Make time for prayer.

• Reflect on the blessings and challenges of being single and the gifts you have to offer.
• What do I have to offer as a single to the church. What are the benefits the church and myself will recieve from devoting my life to serving her?
• Make prayer a part of your daily life.
• Use personal prayer, the Scriptures, journaling, meditation, and the Liturgy of the Hours.
• Schedule a personal or group retreat.
• This is something I know I need to do. I love going on retreats, but I don't think I have been on a retreat for me in oh...probably about 4 years...I think it's time.
• Plan a pilgrimage to a holy site. Visit area shrines and other historical religious sites.
• Hmm, never really thought about that. Should prolly look into this, there is a really cool walking stations place about 30-45 mins up the road...should prolly go check that out again.

2. Practice forgiveness.

• Learn to forgive and be forgiven.
• Examine your conscience, and practice fasting and sacrifice.
• Celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation.
• I need to do this more regularly...

3. Celebrate the Eucharist.

• Actively participate each Sunday.
• This almost seems like a cope out...as a Catholic this should be something that we do every Sunday, regardless.
• Register with your parish, and if you've already done so, look for ways to get more involved in the liturgy as a lector, Eucharistic minister, usher, musician, or choir member.

4. Live a just life.

• Work against discrimination, racism, and oppression.
• Treat all people with the dignity they deserve as sons and daughters of God.
• Participate in the national Pledge for Charity, Justice, and Peace
• Look for ways to simplify your life and share what you have with others.
• This is one of the most beautiful gifts that my old roommate Joe gave to me. During our last year living together he showed me how to live simply. He was preparing to enter the novitiate for the Dominicans. We didn't need cable, or a lot of the frilly stuff. It is better to spend that time with others that you would have spent watching TV anyway, and what good is money if you cannot use it to minister. A life of poverty may be difficult but I can understand the beauty and peace that it brings with it.

5. Help the poor.

• Look into local service opportunities or other ways your gifts can be used in service to others.
• Gather others together for group service projects. Practice charity by assisting those living in poverty, and promote community based solutions for injustice and poverty.

6. Be a domestic church.

• Establish personal traditions around holidays, special feast days, and other celebrations or memorials.
• I have not had much luck with this so far, I do not really have anything that is my own tradition, I feel like I should by now. I'll have to work on this.
• Offer your home as a place for friendship and hospitality.
• I feel like my office has become a place to get away from the day to day stuff and just relax. It is nice to leave the door open and see who wanders in.

7. Share faith.

• Talk about God's presence in your life with other people; be an evangelizer.
• Yeah LifeGuides, and to a certain extent as a campus ministeresque.
• Consider getting involved with your parish RCIA program for those learning more about the Catholic faith.
• Look for opportunities to invite others to experience your faith community.
• I think I can pull this off fairly easily...as long as I don't scare anyone off.

8. Join a small Christian community.

• Join a small faith group to receive support to live your faith.
• I know these exsist, and to a certain extent PCS and my friends fill this slot, but there are things out there like Frassati that I should get involved with.
• If one does not exist, form one of your own. Gather regularly for prayer, faith sharing, and community.

9. Know your faith.

• Look for opportunities for adult faith development and education.
• Visit a good bookstore or the Internet for resources on faith and the Church.
• Read the Scriptures.
• Begin a study of saints who lived a single life.
• I have the books, now I need to sit down and read them. There is a neat one I picked up about the Apostles that was written by the Pope. Not unlike the single life vocation it is very difficult to find information on St. Andrew, but I think he would be a good role model to look to concerning the single life.

So there is the list, now to live it. One of the biggest things I struggle with when discerning the single life is what I would be "giving up". This is where some of the tips they have listed come in, by leaning on others and group to help in your discernment. My struggle though is what I will miss out on; Do I want to be a father? Am I called to be a father? If I discern the single life, do I lose the chance at a comforting hug when I am hurting or alone? Can I find that in a friend. I am still at the "what am I giving up" stage (for the record that is a stage I just made up) am I ready to consciously discern, or have I been discerning well this entire time. When will I know?

Discernment is a is necessary but difficult task, sometimes it is easy, but mostly it is a struggle. "What have I got to lose" should not be the creedo, the focus should be "what do I have to gain". What will my vocation bring me in the end? God has a reason and a purpose for bringing me to a particular vocation. Finding that purpose theoretically will bring peace to my discernment, but finding that purpose is not going to be easy. Prayer, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Living Justly, Helping Others, Being a Friend, Sharing Faith, Community, and Knowing What you Believe are all steps in the right direction.